Christmas

Christmas is one month from today. I'm spending a lot of time "worrying" about it this year. It's not a bad year, it's just an anxious, I need to hurry up and get my shopping done, sort of worry. See, we have extra people for Christmas this year. Our daughter and her boyfriend are coming out for Christmas, for two and a half weeks. I've only been around her a few times, but have a pretty good idea of what she likes. I've never met her boyfriend. It's difficult to not only buy presents for someone you've never met, but never even talked to. And then I put myself in his shoes: he's spending a HUGE holiday with people he doesn't know, in a house he's not familiar with. What a jump for him, too. I know it will all work out "fine" for Christmas, but I want it to be more than that. I want them to really enjoy themselves while they're here. This is the girl's first Christmas with her dad since she was about 5 years old. This is really a big deal. Without making myself insane over it, I'm going to make this is as funfilled as possible. I do wish that we weren't travelling across the state to spend the 24th - 26th with my husband's family, because I don't think anything would be better than our little family being able to wake up Christmas morning in our own house, with stockings and presents from Santa. Maybe there will be snow on the Pass.

When push comes to shove

I had a couple of incidents happen last weekend that caused me to see my life a little clearer. One was with friends, one was with family. I'm not saying that I'm "all knowing" now, but I actually felt my spine straighten and my chin lift up. Literally. I could start to taste what I'm made of. I cannot allow the comments that you feel necessary to make have the effect on me that they do. I won't be crushed by the words coming from your mouth. Our relationship is what it is. I love you, but it's my life. I love you for who you are, and I expect the same from you. If you choose not to do that, it's not my issue. The realization was a little exhausting, but I felt good about it. It felt very "sane".

Not waiting to exhale

I realized about a week ago that I hated the stress monkey that I had become. Between work and personal issues, I was monumentally grumpy. I didn't want to, but I seemed to end up that way by 9am every morning. Ugh. The weekends weren't enough to wash it away.
So I'm done. I'm done with being grumpy. I consider myself a fairly self-aware person and knew the effect of my grumpiness on others. I can't constantly let others get to me and ruin my perfectly good days. I don't have any control over their bad habits, so I can't let them effect me like they have. I'm taking deep breaths. It's amazing what a deep breath can do. Of course, I take a lot of them and people might think I'm hyperventilating. :)
*snifffffffff* *whoooooooooooo*

Blood, sweat and burgers

I spent last Monday night watching Wrestlemania 25 with my husband and my son, staying up well past my bedtime. It was a belated Christmas present to our pro-wrestling obsessed boy. Nothing's greater in the world to a 14 year old than people smashing into each other and the fake drama that surrounds it. My husband and I were both wrestling fans at that age, too, so we're fairly understanding. Of course, we didn't have DVR capabilities to record every ounce of wrestling on TV to watch later. And let's be clear, there's A LOT of wrestling on TV these days. It's on several times a week.
So, Monday night was four full hours of explosions and Kid Rock and half-naked girls and large, sweaty men. Of course, the latter wasn't all that bad. (I may or may not have fallen for several muscular, neckless men during my single days. I will not deny nor confirm this. I discovered I like necks, though, they're kissable. Whew... is it warm in here?) We had burgers and home fries for dinner, one of the boy's favorite meals. I also threw in some mid-Wrestlemania Chocolate and Caramel Crunch-n-Munch that I highly recommend. While we were cooking dinner, my son said "Wow, burgers, homefries and Wrestlemania!" With a small sarcastic drip I replied, "mmm, it's like a little slice of heaven." Without missing a beat, he frantically nodded his head, "Yeah! Really!" I didn't even attempt to help him catch my sarcasm - he was the happiest boy in the world.

Life's little pleasures

Just a few things that I really think are life's little pleasures - that really help you feel that moment in your life.

1. Warm cookies.


2. Clean, warm sweat socks at the end of the day.


3. The smell of your mom or grandma's perfume.


4. Homemade macaroni and cheese.


5. Your dog giving you a little, tiny kiss on the end of your nose.


6. The smell of fresh, cut grass.



7. Having your grandma tell you that "you're a good kid", no matter how old you are.

Homestretch

21. I LOVE green olives. And all things salty.

22. I love to craft. I really love beads and making my own jewelry, but I will try my hand at crafting darn near anything. I restrain myself as much as possible due to lack of space.

23. I'm allergic to a wide variety of foods, some that I really miss: potatoes, chocolate, milk, horseradish, ice cream. *sigh*

24. I'm starting to understand more and more that everyone has different types of friends: work friends, party friends, sit down-and-talk friends, go- have-lunch friends and that it's very rare to find someone that fulfills all of these.

25. My favorite thing in the world is to lie in bed on Sunday morning with my husband while we pet the dog between us. We then get up and drink our fancy, flavored, weekend coffee and read the paper. I really love the down-time of reading the newspaper. I hope they never vanish completely.

Things 16-20 - almost done!

16. My dream job would be to have my own boutique that sold fun gift items and hilarious knick-knacks. Maybe a few craft items. Things that women give other women because only they would get the joke. It would be called Wicked Giggles. My dream job also entails having an animal at work. And those that didn't like my big, orange terminally pissed-off cat and my overly-flatulent, lazy dog could suck it, and walk their happy asses back out my shop door.

17. When I was little I wanted to be a dancer when I grew up. I believed this until the day that my dance teacher mumbled to herself, "I don't know why I bother, you're not gonna be any good anyways." Grown-ups can suck sometimes. I told my Mom and she called and told her exactly where she could stick that tap shoe, and then signed me up for baton lessons the next day. Which I loved, and was pretty good at. Grown-ups can kick ass sometimes.

18. I love to sing in my car. As loudly as possibly. I'm also a pretty good seat dancer.

19. I had a series of truly vile varsity coaches in high school, for both volleyball and softball. People that said very nasty things and loved to belittle you. Karma will find you, my friends.

20. My softball number is 11. My husband's number is 8. We both have the same tattoo with our respective numbers on them. He proposed to me, by coincidence, on 11-8. Our favorite number is 19. You do the math.

More things to bore you with...

11. I love that my husband loves animals as much as I do. He hasn't met a dog yet that doesn't feel a need to clean his face. We think he must taste like gravy to dogs.

12. I love it when my husband narrates a voice for our dog. Especially when he puts her paw to her head and says, in a high-pitched voice, "Private Dingo reporting for duty, sir" and then goes on a ten minute military rant of Lucy talking to her sergeant. It's HILARIOUS.

13. My husband is a dumbass. But he's my dumbass.

14. When I was about eight, our family was caught in a storm on Dworshak Reservoir in our seventeen-foot fishing boat. The winds were blowing about 60 mph and causing 20 foot swells. When we were on top of the swell we could see shore, when we weren't... we saw nothing but walls of water. I don't know how we weren't killed. This attributes to my whitewater and lightning fears. Don't tell me just to calm down, I'm not going to get over it.

15. I love turkey sandwiches. Sourdough bread, white meat, little mayo, little butter, cranberry, sprinkling of salt. Yes, please!

25 things continued...

6. I don't know if I'm bionic yet, but do know that I've had a lot of surgeries. Here goes:
1992 - ankle surgery. Blew it out two years earlier sliding into third base. Finished the season. Crappy doctor told me it was just a sprain.
1996 - gallbladder removal. Not delightful. Laid in the basement for a week watching the summer Olympics. This caused me to hate Kerri Strug with a passion. Her voice could peel paint.
1999 - sinus surgery. This is when I found out I was allergic to hydrocodone and that's why I was violently ill during the first two surgeries. Try throwing up with staples in your stomach. Not good.
2001 - neck surgery. Numerous falls, car wrecks, softball and bad genetics gave me a titanium plate and four screws. Definitely bionic from this one.
2003 - knee surgery. Dislocated my knee cap playing softball in St. Maries. Shouldn't play ball on fields that are built over old landfills.
2006 - sinus surgery #2. Fixing what the other doctor missed the first time. I actually had a staph infection in my sinuses when I went in. They also gave me an injected antibiotic before I went under that makes you feel like they dumped itching powder on your asshole. They call it the "Itchy Butt Medicine". Worst feeling EVER.

7. I couldn't be prouder to be the daughter and granddaughter of a fire captain and fire chief, respectively. Having a parent that could be killed in the line of duty does that to you. I was really proud the day my dad came home and announced that he'd saved a gerbil from a fire. *sniff*

8. I used to work nights/weekends at a tanning salon as a receptionist. I once found a used tampon behind one of the beds. Who does that? I also had a crispy, leathery old guy open the door and talk to me in his tighty-whiteys. Eww.

9. I love the ocean. I love the smell of it and the little creatures. Just like being around animals, I'm much calmer when I'm by the ocean.

10. Being a stepparent is the hardest thing I've ever done. And I love it.

25 things about me... the beginning...

I had a friend that posted a Facebook note where you're supposed to put down 25 little known facts about yourself. Thought I'd give it a try, figuring I'll either be able to think of 3 things or 153. We'll see. Here we go...

1. I'm deathly afraid of whitewater. Conveniently (!) I discovered this as my parents were putting me in a canoe to take a 50 mile trip down Dworshak Reservoir. The first day consisted of going through three sets of rapids. Relatively small rapids in the world of rapids, but frothy whitewater all the same. This whole trip was quite an adventure, but maybe that's a story for a later blog. I can't even listen to people tell stories about rafting and whitewater because I stop breathing.

2. I'm a better person when I'm around animals. I'm quite aware of this fact - I can feel myself become calmer, and I'm sure that I am more pleasant to be around. And I love everything about them. Especially puppy butts. Some people have biological clocks that tick for babies... mine ticks for puppies.

3. When I was little I used to wear bobby pins hidden in my hair in case I was ever kidnapped. I learned how to pick locks with them so that I could rescue myself from handcuffs. Really. Saw it in a movie.

4. My favorite sport is softball. This is not a newsflash to anyone that knows me. The main reason I love it, however, is because it reminds me of my family. My dad played softball every year, and my mom played a few years, too. I lived for the two days a week we could go watch my dad play, have Taco Time for dinner, and maybe get to hang out with his team afterwards at Rathaus Pizza. We didn't take family vacations... we went to softball tournaments. But we went to Coeur D'Alene, Ellensburg, McCall... places that seem exotic when you're young. But we usually camped and had other small adventures between games that made the trip more of a "vacation." I also love the smell of fresh cut grass, leather conditioner and how soft a new batting glove is. It's my heart. And it's where I met my husband. Making it where I found the rest of my heart.

5. I hate Cheez-its, apricots and liver. Those are pretty much the three foods I refuse to eat. Unless you turn those apricots into jam, then they morph into something delicious.